Breakout

Collected Outbursts, in original form, both published and unpublished, in defense of the Sisterhood...

                                                    by Charles Peeples.

Volume Six

A CHALLENGE TO HIZZONER 

(Philly Health & Fitness, Nov 2000)

No doubt we’re still smarting from it, that awful national press about Philly Phatness earlier this year, the images of Rocky, Boat-house Row and the Penn Relays eclipsed by those of Tasty-Kakes, soft pretzels and cheese-steaks…but what’s being done about it? No, I don’t mean by us hoi  polloi  -heck, we’ve got as many gyms and jocks as any other town (we even have WWDB’s Dr. Jim Corea!)- I’m talking about our civic leadership.

Certainly Mayor John Street has been busier than a frog in a blender with the issues of schools, stadia, and a Republican Convention. But other than appointing an expensive “Nutritional Czarina” to entreat restaurants toward more “lite” (whatever happened to tofu?) listings, what sort of national rebuttal has he offered?  Nothing of any weight, or the press would’ve picked it up. Something “lite.” Like commiserating with Oprah, which is kind of funny, in a way which needn’t be explained.

But I did hear a quote attributed to him hinting at the potential clout he’s capable of wielding, something about his being “one of the fittest fifty-something-year-olds in the country.” And you know, it really doesn’t matter whether or not he said it. Or whether or not it’s true. What matters is that it provides the seed for an opportunity, for a fantastic stroke of leadership and international publicity for Philadelphia.

The plan, which I proposed to him by letter last spring, offered a challenge, to a public duel of sorts, with a fifty-seven year-old grandmother. Okay, so Linda Wood-Hoyte is no ordinary fifty-seven year-old grandmother. She’s a world-class amateur bodybuilder and former runner who once trained with Olympic great, Wilma Rudolf. At 5’3” and 140 pounds, she can squat 315 pounds for repetitions. Ditto one-arm dumbbell rows with 135-pounders, which some of you may have seen her do at the 1995 WWDB Health and Fitness Fair, or in Art Carey’s subsequent Inquirer story. And yes (to those who scream “Drugs!” at the sight of any woman with visible muscle), Linda’s all-natural too. She always has been. She’s very attractive, very feminine and very busy; she has to train in her garage-gym at night because, like Hizzoner, she works in a demanding, high-responsibility position with a twelve-hour day at the office.

Linda at 54

The Contest, held in a public place (how about in front of City Hall, Mr. Mayor? You could do it during your lunch break. Or on the Rocky steps at the Art Museum -give a grandmom a once-in-a-lifetime shot...), would be short and simple: repetitions in the push-up for the upper body, and in the 135-pound squat for the lower body (which offers parity since the Mayor outweighs Linda considerably and has the “male advantage”).

Here’s the real beauty of the whole thing: It doesn’t matter who wins!  The publicity  would be positive, gigantic and international.  When has an elected official ever taken up such a challenge?  In the minds of most people, the word “mayor, governor, or politician” evokes the image of a flabby, out-of-touch bureaucrat. Here’s an opportunity to smack down that one, here, if nowhere else (ok, Minnesota, maybe).

Not only would this make a statement about Philly and Mayor John Street, but think of the inspiration for women, for the elderly. And what would it cost? Probably less than what this Nutritional Czarina earns in a week. I’ll even provide the rack and weights.

Are you old enough to remember the build-up and excitement for the first Ali-Frazier fight in 1971? No sporting event in modern history has ever matched that build-up.  Nothing else in the world mattered that week. We could do something like that here. Just picture the two of  ‘em, the Mayor and the Grandmom, converging on the platform through a cloud of confetti and noise, thousands of fans, reporters and celebrities, doffing their robes and shaking hands.  Just put the world on hold…

But it’s been since early April and no response has come from the Mayor. Maybe he doesn’t want to shame a fifty-seven year old grandmother (don’t worry, Mr. Mayor, she’s tough!). Maybe now that the embarrassing publicity has been forgotten, fitness and Philly Phatness is no longer an issue. Or maybe Hizzoner doesn’t think anyone would come to watch him go mana-a-mama. Whadya think? Sound off and let him know!

And while you’re at it, you can offer some better ideas for Philly Fitness initiatives than another over-paid bureaucrat and a lukewarm menu plan. Here are a few of mine, straight off the top, and I’m not a particularly imaginative guy…

Inaugurate an annual Mr. & Ms. Fit Philly competition with big prizes and publicity. Doubtless many gyms and health clubs would sponsor it.

Get more cops on bikes, and make it a high-qualification, high-visibility, high-pay slot in an elite group- like the Green Berets, the SEALs, the Buckingham Palace Guards…

Get our local celebs (including Sixers, Eagles, Phillies and Flyers) into the act, making appearances, giving awards for fitness initiatives.

Czar/czarina? Scrap that sinecure. Ahhhnold the S didn’t quit his film career to head the President’s Council on Physical Fitness; he accepted the honor as an additional duty. We’ve got our own icon: Dr. Jim Corea could handle Philly’s remedies from his gym/office, and probably wouldn’t charge much more than the phone bill. And if you don’t get fired up listening to a guy like this, you’ve already assumed room-temperature.

Bring more high-profile athletic events to the city: Joe Frazier’s daughter’s gonna mix it up with Muhammed Ali’s daughter on the thirtieth anniversary of the Big One. Why not here?

MUSCLE, The New Femininity  (Philly Health & Fitness)

Calling Dr. Jim  (Philly Health & Fitness)